Five Simple Levers to Lift Your Love A Little Higher

They say with a lever long enough, you can lift the world. While that might be a grand scale, lifting our marriages to new heights requires a more personalized approach. Romantic relationships often become challenging when we run out of energy and ideas to elevate them. Like all living things, relationships need constant nourishment to thrive and endure.

Here are five simple levers you can use to lift your marriage, reignite love, and feed your most important relationships.

1. Push Your Positivity with Intentional Admiration

Happy couples focus on the positive aspects, intentionally creating a list of things they appreciate about each other. Marriage researcher John Gottman emphasizes the importance of fondness and admiration in a successful marriage. Grow these qualities by daily finding and sharing things you appreciate about your partner.

To Do: Share three things you admire about your spouse each day. Consider starting with a list of why you fell in love with each other in the first place.

2. Stay in Sync by Turning Toward Each Other

Romance isn't about grand gestures; it's the result of thousands of micro-moments of connection. Turn toward your partner, put the phone down, and actively listen to their stories. This creates shared meaning and strengthens your connection. The healthiest marriages turn toward each other 83% of the time during bids.

To Do: Make a commitment to turn toward each other and make eye contact as often as possible throughout the day.

3. Exercise Your Charity by Offering Sincere Service Every Day

Express love through acts of service, prioritizing your partner's needs above your own. Distinguish service for your partner from general family activities. Ask yourself daily, "What is one thing I can do for my partner today to show love?" Offer your service and express gratitude for the services your partner provides.

To Do: Daily, perform a specific act of service for your partner and express gratitude for their contributions.

4. Open Your Hearts by Letting Your Partner Influence You

Healthy couples consider each other's perspective, make decisions together, and find common ground. Letting your partner influence you is about mutual respect and shared decision-making. Surrender the need to be right and prioritize love over winning arguments.

To Do: Actively listen and engage in activities important to your partner. Open yourself to their influence, enhancing learning and happiness.

5. Build a New Shared Dream Together

Many problems in relationships stem from unfulfilled dreams and expectations. Reenergize your love by revitalizing your dreams. Happy couples help each other realize their dreams by discussing, combining, and sacrificing to achieve shared goals.

To Do: Sit down with your partner, set goals for the next year, and find a joint goal that motivates both of you. Create a plan to make that goal come true, focusing on a shared couple goal rather than a family goal.