Do Opposites Really Attract or Are They Created?

Do you find yourself realizing more and more the differences between you and your spouse? It's a common experience in marriage, raising the question: do opposites genuinely attract, or are these differences created over time? The answer lies in a combination of both scenarios, as research suggests initial attraction to opposites, while managing these differences can either enhance or exaggerate them.

Handling Differences Positively

1. Communicate Don't Control

Avoid controlling behavior, as people resist being controlled, leading to hidden or suppressed behaviors. Instead, focus on open communication without judgment or argument. Seek professional guidance if needed.

Activity: Engage in open communication about your deeper concerns and fears without attempting to control.

2. Think Complete, Not Compete

Embrace the idea that differences make the couple more whole and complete than they are individually. Recognize the strengths each partner brings to the relationship, understanding the benefits of diversity.

Activity: Acknowledge and appreciate how your partner's differences contribute positively to the relationship.

3. Choose Your Chemistry Carefully

 Understand the impact of chemicals in your body during conflict or discussion. Promote cooperation and communication chemicals (Oxytocin, Serotonin, Dopamine) rather than competition and control chemicals (adrenaline, cortisol).

Activity: Notice the emotions and chemicals present when discussing differences, and consciously choose positive chemistry.

4. Change for The Good

Instead of fixating on your partner's changes, focus on self-improvement. Actively work on becoming a healthier, more well-rounded individual, which can positively influence your relationship.

Activity: Identify an area for personal improvement, communicate your plan to your partner without expecting anything in return.

By approaching differences with open communication, appreciation, positive chemistry, and a commitment to personal growth, couples can navigate and celebrate their unique qualities, fostering a healthier and more connected relationship.